Seamlesser of the Week: Lauren

Seamless has some of the best fans in the world. They stand by us during the hangriest of times and come to us to feed them day in and day out. This is a weekly feature where we highlight one of our proudest and most awesome Seamlessers. This week, we have Lauren who loves numbered lists and tacos. A lot.

First Name: Lauren

Age: 24

Occupation: Copywriter

How and When Did You Discover Seamless? I discovered Seamless my first week living in NYC after spending four years in Boston for college and ordering off another site. Thai food is an important element of unpacking your moving boxes in your crappy new apartment.

Where Do You Use Seamless? Oh my god everywhere. My three most-used addresses are work (Midtown), home (Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn) and my friend Lib’s house (Williamsburg [I go there to watch cable]).

Favorite Kind of Food: Tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos. They are the perfect food because they 1) address all nutritional needs in one very small cute bundle, 2) involve cheese most of the time, 3) can be vegetarian or not which means everyone gets along, 4) chorizo, 5) which is the best kind of meat, 6) they are exciting and always different and never not good. Like when was the last time you had a bad taco? Literally never. The venn diagram of “tacos” and “bad tasting things” looks like two circles that do not touch.

Least Favorite Kind of Food: Chinese. Like classic Chinese take-out style Chinese. It all tastes the same and is weirdly glazed and slimy. Truly believe a Chinese take-out taco would be very good, however.

Favorite Places to Order From on Seamless? SUMO Japanese on Havemeyer St in Williamsburg. I will tell you why. 1) They deliver all the way in Bed-Stuy, which is very generous, 2) They include crunchy on their spicy rolls without you having to ask for it which means, 3) they are good people, and 4) it is important to patronize small businesses when they are owned by good people plus, 5) their delivery minimum is the perfect amount because it encourages you to treat yourself to scallion pancakes.

What’s your record for orders placed on Seamless in a 24-hour period? WELL I guess twice and that was maybe one time. I know that is not impressive but my budget isn’t high enough to order Seamless as many times in a 24-hour period as I would like to do (which is one million bajillion times). However for entertainment reasons I often cruise Seamless dot com and read menus the way some people read magazines, books or blogs.

If you had to eat one food  for 30 days in a row, what would that be? What a question. It’s a tie between tacos and ramen. I would flip a coin. If it landed heads up, tacos, it would probably be the shrimp taco from Dorado in Union Square. If it landed tails, ramen, I would have to do a second coin flip to choose between the Miso Ramen at Ramen Yebisu in Williamsburg or the Tonkotsu Ramen at Qoo Rabata, also in Williamsburg. Could I just alternate between both, since they’re technically both ramen? If yes, forget the original coin flip, I’d just go for ramen.

Least Favorite Thing About Calling Restaurants? I imagine the person who answers the phone is like, in a really busy kitchen, holding a frying pan in one hand and like, making an omelette  and then holding the phone between their shoulder and their ear while using their free hand to weirdly scrawl the order down, but they can’t move their elbow because of the way they’re holding the phone between their ear and their chin, so it’s hard to write and their handwriting is hardly legible. Also, lots of noise in the background, people shouting back and forth about pizza and no onions and order up table 13. This all sounds really unpleasant for both myself and the person taking my order. It makes me very anxious.

Favorite Celebrity Chef? NYC’s April Bloomfield because she does great things with meat, somehow remains glamorous despite said things she does with meat, and because she finally opened a taco place [SALVATION TACO] which makes her literally perfect in my eyes. The Breslin is my favorite restaurant I can’t afford and am not cool enough to be seen at.

What Superpower Do You Wish You Had? To have the magic to make a kettle that produces as much pasta as I want, so that I could fill all of New York City with pasta a la “Strega Nona’s Pasta Pot,” by Tomie dePaola. This would greatly reduce crime and increase resident morale which is what super heroes are for.

Plans for Tonight? I haven’t made plans yet because I don’t plan things ahead of time. But what I would like to happen is to either A) go to happy hour at my favorite Midtown bar Mulligan’s with my coworkers and make eyes at the hundreds of suits that hang out there every Thursday after work, or B) rally my friends to meet me at Post Office, one of the best spots in Brooklyn where I always get free pickle backs or shots of Fernet. Alternatively, I may opt to go home, get in bed, watch Swimfan and eat a Boars Head pepper salami like a banana. The great thing about New York City is you never know where your night will take you.

  • Swimfan

    1) You’re funny, what’s your hat made out of?
    2) Picklebacks are the juice of the gods
    3) Tomie dePaola saved my childhood
    4) Let’s go eat tacos sometime, gurl

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